Hi guys, sorry for answering one question twice. I had a change of mind. At this point, my mind is very unstable. However, let me rewrite my own told story again.

If I could change the ending of any book , that would be Hamlet by William Shakespeare . It’s not because I want to rewrite because I didn’t like the ending offered by Shakespeare but I think there is more to it in the modern times. And honestly speaking, I sometimes feel like I’m Hamlet in modern times. Like him, I have been betrayed that much in my life that my life’s got bitter. It doesn’t just feel like I should be alive. Yet I am constantly fighting with with myself that I have to change my story and I don’t deserve the betrayal.

Let me tell you my tale, my life is now no less than Hamlet, I lost my brother, and father. I have betrayed by literally everyone around me. No one loved for who I am, but they loved the fact about me how I made them feel. And literally I’m exhausted right now due to this matrix.

Out of frustration, I thought practicing religion or spiritualism would change me. And it didn’t. I practiced spiritualism.I used to go to a church with a Christian guy. He offered me to go to the church and I have been there. The community was so nice that I felt like it was my family. Later one day he invited me to a play in school in Göttingen, Germany. The theater was based on the life of Jesus Christ. In that play, I saw how betrayed Jesus Christ felt. He knew one of disciple betrayed. He cried so helplessly that it was very unbearable for me. I could relate to him that much I literally felt me. That’s how I was and am always been to the people who were around me.

Like Christ, I hid so many things in my life, that I felt like do I really exist to them? Or it’s just that God has sent me here to fulfill my purpose even without noticing my own emotions. Cause I had never had the option to do that.

However, even after the betrayal, Christ allowed himself to be crucified. Because he was meant to do that, because it was an order from the Holy Father. And I asked the Christian guy, I understand that Christ was supposed to do that for saving the human kind. But was it really necessary that he suffers? The Christian guy couldn’t answer it. I have the similar question regarding Hamlet. Does he really deserve that? I don’t think so. I think we all deserve a good ending.

Thank you for reading my blog and I appreciate it. Have a nice day.